Decide to Embrace Failure

In a poem by T. H. Palmer, the writer beckons, "Tis a lesson you should need, If at first you don't succeed, Try, try again;  Then your courage should appear, for it you will persevere, You will conquer never fear.  Try, try again."

In the business of writing and publishing, rejections come in bunches.  Once I won an award at our writers' group for having the most rejections (200).  My  husband only encourages, you can paper your writing studio with them. 

But rejections hurt, discourage, and can become personal.  The editors don't want that beautiful essay and won't publish your delightful humor column.  When I feel like trashing the whole writing gig, I remember a comment by a friend, "No doesn't mean never."

Editors may not want my scribblings now, but in future perhaps these same individuals will be asking for a guest editorial or article.  Keep your chin up.  Decide to embrace failure.  Try.  Try again.

Ignoring Failure

If you were raised in a home with perfectionists as I was, failure is the absolute be-all and end-all most humiliating experince you could experience.  Bad grades were a reflection on the family.  Behavior was to be on the utmost par.  Nothing could spot a perfect record at school or in the neighborhood.  "Be a lady" is the southern matra heard from the hospital nursery to the nursing home.  Not necessarily a bad thing, but somewhat crippling if you fail in any realm of your life.

And you will fail.  Failing isn't fatal.  Failing can be the stepping stone to the next big thing.  And failing doesn't mean you will never attain the goal.  You may have to be more patient, wait a little longer, take another creative route, or take a detour.  The main thing is that you keep on!  Ignore what doesn't work along with unwanted comments.  Concentrate on the goal and you will get there.

Childlikeness Shall Lead Us

If you want an example of forgiveness, watch little children.  For the first few minutes, children who play together are best friends.  They share the toys.  They smile and even laugh at the antics of the other.  They cooperate freely up to a point. If no one intervenes (like an adult or another child) this scenario may rock along for some time.

But inevitably there comes a scream, a thwack, or a tattling child and we are off.  Separate the kids.  Make them give over the coveted toy.  Put in time out or send to their room.  And the dynamic will come full circle.

In a few minutes, the children will be saying "sorry", begging to play, and embracing each other as well as the moment.  They don't even remember why the conflict began, why they had to apologize, or what "time out" was for.  They have completely forgiven and along the way forgotten the heinous action that led to the punishment.

Adults on the other hand have learned to harbor that grudge, put on a game face, and build barriers in our hearts toward the one who hurt us.  We say the right things but in our inner being, we will never forgive and certainly not forget.  We become a little like Dr. Seuss' Grinch and our heart shrinks until it is "two sizes too small."

Today I resolve to become a little more childlike (not childish) and scrub the slate clean.  It is the 2nd decision in 13 Decisions That Will Change Your Life and one you won't regret.