Barriers to Love

When I started writing 13 Decisions that will Change Your Life, I hadn't considered how many barriers there were to unconditional love.  As it turns out, there are many.  More seem to rear their heads every day.

Love is curtailed by distrust or mistrust.  We've all experienced betrayal and the bitterness it leaves.  Love is unable to live in an atmosphere of unforgiveness.  Roots of  malice burrow into our lives and take years of diligence to get rid of.

Love closely related to joy and a zest for living.  Neither is possible if a scimitar is poised over our head.  Purging grudges, putting away hard feelings, and defusing feuds unbars the road to love.  Unfortunately cleared pathways don't always stay clear, so this demolition must be a constant chore.   Don't put off your spring cleaning so love can blossom. 

Ignoring Failure

If you were raised in a home with perfectionists as I was, failure is the absolute be-all and end-all most humiliating experince you could experience.  Bad grades were a reflection on the family.  Behavior was to be on the utmost par.  Nothing could spot a perfect record at school or in the neighborhood.  "Be a lady" is the southern matra heard from the hospital nursery to the nursing home.  Not necessarily a bad thing, but somewhat crippling if you fail in any realm of your life.

And you will fail.  Failing isn't fatal.  Failing can be the stepping stone to the next big thing.  And failing doesn't mean you will never attain the goal.  You may have to be more patient, wait a little longer, take another creative route, or take a detour.  The main thing is that you keep on!  Ignore what doesn't work along with unwanted comments.  Concentrate on the goal and you will get there.

Forgiveness is Not for Sissies

"To err is human, to forgive divine."  I never realized how true that was until I was part of a relationship where forgiveness seemed as plausible as going to the moon.  If that is your situation, don't beat yourself up.  Forgiving someone is a process not a task that can be accomplished in one day.  It may take years to fully recover from a heartbreak, a betrayal, or a relationship breakdown.

How will you know when you have forgiven someone?  I tell those who ask, "when the memory of that person or incident no longer causes you pain."  Don't despair.  The Holy Spirit will cleanse and heal.  He will take your wounded spirit and replace it with joy.