Showing posts with label unforgiveness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label unforgiveness. Show all posts

Friday, May 17, 2013

Barriers to Love

When I started writing 13 Decisions that will Change Your Life, I hadn't considered how many barriers there were to unconditional love.  As it turns out, there are many.  More seem to rear their heads every day.

Love is curtailed by distrust or mistrust.  We've all experienced betrayal and the bitterness it leaves.  Love is unable to live in an atmosphere of unforgiveness.  Roots of  malice burrow into our lives and take years of diligence to get rid of.

Love closely related to joy and a zest for living.  Neither is possible if a scimitar is poised over our head.  Purging grudges, putting away hard feelings, and defusing feuds unbars the road to love.  Unfortunately cleared pathways don't always stay clear, so this demolition must be a constant chore.   Don't put off your spring cleaning so love can blossom. 

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Forgive and Forget

Remember when your mom made you say "sorry" to your sibling when you hit him/her?  Heartfelt was it?  Sometimes when we forgive as adults, it is just as thin and insincere.  In 13 Decisions That Will Change Your Life I spend a lot of time on this subject.  Forgiveness has been a theme of my adult life.  I've had to ask for a lot of grace and I've done my share of dispensing it.

There are situations I would like to change, others I would undo or skip a;together.  But the best I can hope for is a new start and that I learn something from each mistake.  Those two things aren't possible unless we truly forgive and forget.  When the situation no longer angers us, it is a symptom that you are  close to achieving that goal.

I have discussed the subject of forgiveness with many.  When they confess their failures and disappointments in relationships, there is often a core of unforgiveness presenting a hurdle to high or wide to navigate. Someone has wronged you, betrayed you, or broken faith.  If we don't forgive, we only hurt ourselves not the other person.

The standard excuse is that we don't forgive someone because they don't ask.  They don't ask because of pride. We spread rumors, turn out backs, and avoid them increasing our guilt.  And the cycle of bitterness feeds on itself poisoning all those around.  Be the bigger person and truly forgive and forget.  It is a happier way to live.